Beach Bag Lady

I’m at the beach, bikini is on. Looking around me I see beautiful women, confident in their skin. Suddenly I’m overwhelmed with grief. It doesn’t matter what I look like, how much effort I make with my appearance, I will always have the bag. A little girl walks past with her dad and stares at…

Getting stuck!

Not for the first time adhesions (or perhaps a twisted intestine) are making life a bit challenging. I’ve had an issue for most of the last week. My stoma is very swollen and pretty sore, lots of abdominal cramps and waves of escalating pain, nausea, bloating etc etc. It got to the point where I…

The Turning Point

I’ve written before how life stopped on Christmas Day 2015. It was in an instant or so it felt. When I look back for the ‘moment’, that’s it. It doesn’t matter about the months prior when I was so obviously, yet not obviously, coming out of remission. Christmas Day it was there in all its…

Who am I? – A life rebooted

Who am I? A question I’ve been grappling with for the last few weeks and it’s really been getting into my head. Life as it was came to a standstill just before Christmas 2015 with a severe flare of pan colitis. In October 2016 I had a sub-total colectomy and ileostomy. Who we are or…

Black Dog – Down

I spend a lot of time alone and for the large part I’m pretty good at it. I like my own space, perhaps a little too much. But sometimes that alone time can creep into lonely without me even realising. Social interaction is vital for us all I guess. For me it certainly is and…

Why surgery?

People arrive at having an ostomy in such a variety of ways, each having their own unique story. Recently I’ve been fortunate to spend time in the company of a group of people all of whom have an ostomy and we are all so different, yet also have this one thing in common. There is nothing…

Surgery. How it went down

I had surgery (sub-total colectomy and ileostomy) fairly recently (5 months ago). I appreciate everyone has a different experience, this is mine. My operation was planned and I knew the date 3 weeks before so had some time to get my head around it. I’m not sure if that was truly beneficial as I don’t think there’s…